Missing You
by RenaissanceElf
Summary: (Sequel to "In A Perfect World") After a good start with swimming lessons, something makes Ellie wonder how Bill is faring. Joel is a bit surprised to hear Ellie ask about him, but all joking aside Joel too wonders how his old acquaintance is doing.
1. Chapter 1

**Missing You...**

After a wonderful first swimming lesson, Joel and Ellie made their way back. The day was well spent, Ellie was slowly getting the hang of swimming, but a few hours out by the river really worked up an appetite. Ellie had her homemade linen towel hanging on her shoulder while Joel had his boots on with his shirt off wearing his wet cargo shorts carrying his own linen towel. His backpack he wore, and as usual, had his rifle hanging by its belt. Ellie may have looked innocent in her purple one piece bathing suit, but she still had a pistol and a bow and arrow ready for any hunter or infected that would ruin their day.

"You did really good, I'm proud of you baby girl" Joel praised Ellie.

"I still don't trust myself just yet, but I'm startin' to feel better about it" Ellie replied humbly.

"Just remember the dog paddle technique I taught you, it's the easiest. We'll work on that more next lesson" Joel reassured.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a bear" Ellie rubbed her growling belly.

"I hear ya, my stomach is hollerin' at me too. I think Tommy and Maria will have lunch ready when we git back" Joel agreed.

The two walked back admiring the beautiful day. Not a single cloud was in the sky, and the sun made everything look more radiant with color. The temperature sat just under eighty degrees Fahrenheit. Ellie saw a lone squirrel foraging and dashing up a tree storing what it had found as they approached the gate. It continued working diligently at its task.

"You know that reminds me…" Ellie said as Joel waved at the guards at the gate.

"What's that?" Joel nodded as the guards acknowledged him opening the gate.

"I wonder whatever happened to Bill?" Ellie replied as they walked in.

"What made you think about him? He wasn't exactly your favorite person" Joel asked a little surprised.

"Well seeing a squirrel work so hard by itself did actually…" Ellie answered.

"Hmph, I always thought Bill was more than bit of squirrelly kind of guy" Joel joked.

"Despite the fact he was a major dick, he really helped us… I couldn't help but think about how he's doing these days?" Ellie explained.

"Who knows…things get too bad he could always return back to the quarantine zone" Joel turned watched the guards close the gate behind them.

"So you think he's still alive?" Ellie asked seriously.

"From what I know of Bill…" Joel thought for a moment in light of what he learned about his old buddy.

"He's pretty tough, at least that's what he shows and to a certain extent he really is, but…" Joel paused as they began walking towards their area.

"But?" Ellie prompted him.

"He's a very complicated individual Ellie, as you know, losing someone close does strange things to you" Joel explained.

"No doubt" Ellie agreed.

"Plus Bill's lifestyle is a bit…unique" Joel said tactfully.

"You mean he's gay?" Ellie said bluntly.

"Well…yea, but hey, whatever floats your boat I guess…" Joel nodded laughing still surprised by Ellie's maturity.

"I don't think someone's sexuality determines how well they can survive papa bear…" Ellie shook her head.

"I didn't mean that but…" Joel didn't know what to say knowing Ellie was showing her years beyond her age again.

"I knew a couple of women who could have probably kicked your ass when I was a little girl. Marlene was friends with them and she had me call them my aunts… but I knew they were more than friends…" Ellie smirked.

"Shit! What do you mean when you were a little girl?! You still are!" Joel laughed as they went into their little building they called home.

"Bite me!" Ellie laughed.

"Well maybe next time if we're ever back down that way will have to drop in on him" Joel laughed.

"Yea right! That guy might blow us up next time as crazy as he is!" Ellie laughed even harder.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Back across on the opposite side of the country, an acquaintance sits down in his well fenced, well trapped, and well patrolled area. He wakes up as usual with the sun, and thankfully the night before was uneventful. Bill heated some water and used a filter to make some homemade tea. Bill preferred his morning coffee, but due to the current circumstances of coffee supplies he grew and made his own tea. Bill always wanted to have his own bee farm, but realized how a situation could go from fine to escaping with your life making it a futile effort.

He began loading his weapons carefully and compulsively counting his ammunition caches he had in his trailer. He counted well over eight hundred 9mm pistol bullets he had stored.

"Not the most powerful weapon, but plenty handy" Bill said out loud.

He opened a green plastic chest which he counted just over two hundred shotgun shells.

"May have to go out and hunt more supplies soon" Bill nodded remembering a week ago using almost fifty to deal with a crowd of clickers and runners a block away gathering after hearing a group of neighborhood dogs barking. He also remembered the oil he used to douse the corpses and set them on fire to prevent the dead from creating a horrible stench near his main base.

On the opposite side of his green plastic chest, he counted all of his hunting rifle ammo.

"Fuck!" Bill cursed. After a moment of counting, he realized he had used more than he had thought. He had exactly sixty rounds left. Joel would have easily thought this was plenty, but not Bill. He always believed in having a surplus of goods just in case.

"Shit! Damnit!" Bill went on agitated.

He threw on his army gear including his gas mask and his sharp trusty kukri stepping outside his barricaded trailer. He opened the trunk of an old car nearby and pulled out a set of pliers and a spool of tripwire. Bill scanned the trunk and found the two sacks labeled for his nail bombs he kept his ingredients in. He quickly grabbed them and began to do his normal routine to begin his day.

A couple of stray dogs were wondering near one of his traps when he arrived near the outer eastern corridor of his base.

"No go on! Get out of here damnit!" Bill shouted at the stray dogs. The two mismatched multicolored medium size mutts looked at him a bit confused.

"I said go Goddmanit!" Bill said pointing his gun.

The dogs looked at one last time and took off running in the opposite direction.

"You want your asses blown off?! Now stay gone!" Bill scolded.

The dogs continued to scamper off until they turned a corner down a street.

"I aint got time for you!" Bill said as he inspected the east outer area of his perimeter.

Bill remembered at one time he and Frank had German Shepherd named Fang, but when Frank left he took Fang with him. What became of the poor dog was unknown.

"Traitor!" Bill sneered as he began working his way back inward inspecting the traps and barbed fence.

Bill retrieved some barbed wire from a spool in a nearby building. He made barbed more areas making it more difficult for would be intruders, infected and well. After a few hours of work, Bill took a break returning back to his trailer. He took a few bites of some dried jerky he had and drank some of the filtered bottled water he had gotten from a box of food rations doled out by the military he had smuggled back to his place. He had a solar cell on top of his trailer which made just enough power to power up his small fridge, small makeshift hot water heater which caught rainwater, and an old record player.

He walked over to his compound bow he had recently found a week ago hidden in the attic of an old house. He counted the arrows he had left quietly. There were thirty-five left. He shook his head taking the bow, his binoculars, and five arrows and decided to continue making his rounds. Carefully scanning the area he saw a lone clicker out in the distance.

"Here's my target practice for the day" Bill smirked aiming carefully and firing the arrow. It whizzed many yards until it came to rest in the clicker's head forever silencing it. Bill nodded with satisfaction.

Just as he was making his way toward the western side of his perimeter at the very end, he found a clicker had set a trap off. It had been blown to bits with just pieces of it lying around.

"Good job!" Bill smiled as if rewarding the trap itself.

Bill inspected the area carefully making sure there were no other interlopers nearby and got to work. He reset the trap with the tripwire and very carefully crafted his bomb and attached it to metal pipe after he placed it in the ground. He made another level a couple feet above the other carefully setting it too before stepping back and admiring his own work.

Anyone or thing not wary of the trap would easily be blown to kingdom come. Upon further inspection Bill was satisfied the other traps had not been disturbed. He decided to get some more barb wire and reinforce some other areas along his perimeter walls. A small group of geese distracted him momentarily as they flew overhead in the western direction.

"I wonder how Joel and that little punk are faring out there?" Bill said rhetorically.

"Aw fuck 'em" Bill said climbing down the ladder stashing it back in the place he had it.

Bill took a deep breath and returned back to his little trailer. It was now mid-afternoon and Bill decided all was well. He returned his weaponry back to its place for the time being and grabbed another piece of jerky; of course, there was always a weapon or two in reach.

Shortly after, Bill decided to grab a book which he hadn't read more than ten times. He saw one book underneath a pile that caught his eye for some reason and deftly yanked it out from under. It was Cormac McCarthy's "The Road". He looked at it half-heartedly and tossed it back down.

"Don't need to read that depressing shit again" Bill muttered under his breath.

Bill eyed the stack of books and finally found a story he thought was worthy of his attention. When he looked closer at the title, "The Green Mile", he threw it down and something fell out. Bill quickly bent down and snatched what seemed to be a photo. It was a photo of his self and his late partner Frank displaying their catches dressed in army camouflage standing on an old wharf out in Maine. Each of them was pointing to their own catfish which were both equal sizes. The picture was just about six years old according to Bill's recollections.

"Hmph!" Bill said picking up the book which was a favorite of Frank's putting the photo back in.

The photo was during an outing he, Frank, a couple of smuggler associates from the quarantine zone went on. They were fishing during an out of town mission which paid handsome food rations and ammunition from the Fireflies. Bill began to remember the photo bit clearly. During the trip to some obscure town in Maine, they stopped to fish and one of the associate smugglers took their picture for them. It hadn't been that long since Frank left him and the wounds were still open. Seeing that photo stung him hard. It was painful reminder of a time he was happy and a different person. There were quite a few good times they had, but things toward the end began to go south when Frank wanted to go elsewhere and Bill wanted to stay. They argued and argued until one morning Bill woke up and Frank was gone.

Bill went to his secret stash and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and poured him a couple shots. He took a seat and held up his glass.

"Here's to you Frank…" Bill laughed.

"You got exactly what you deserved!" Bill said harshly drinking both shots. "Stealin' my shit!" he ranted.

He quickly poured another one and capped the bottle and sat on his couch.

"I'm not missing you a bit!" Bill said taking the last shot.

"Not a damn bit!" he said putting his glass down as a single tear rolled down his cheek.


	2. Faith

**Faith**

After they got dressed for lunch Joel couldn't help but to think about Bill. Yes, he wasn't the most likable person at times and was different; but, he had redeaming qualities that if he liked you he would do anything to help you despite his hardened demeanor. Ellie too thought he was more than a bit strange and mean off the cuff, but once you got to know him, he didn't seem like such a bad guy anymore.

"May you be safe wherever you're at buddy" Joel thought as he and Ellie joined Tommy and Maria at the lunch table.

"Joel? You ok?" Ellie asked as they were sitting down.

"Yea...you asking about Bill really had me thinking" Joel admitted.

"Oh yea? About what?" Ellie asked as she began helping Maria doling out the plates and soup bowls in Tommy and Maria's living quarters.

"I just hope that lost soul is ok...it's not easy being on your own. After awhile it takes a toll on you" Joel explained.

"...I know" Ellie whispered as she began setting the silver cutlery remembering the time she took care of Joel when he suffered that grievous wound.

Maria finally stepped in from the small kitchen where she had the big pots and pans. That little kitchen was where she and Tommy would whip up some killer meals.

"Watch out, this is hot!" Maria warned as she put a huge pot with a big ladle of fresh smelling vegetable stew in the middle of the table.

"Mmm...mmm, that smells good sis" Joel complimented.

"Thanks Joel, everything's fresh" Maria said taking off her oven mitts.

"I agree, you don't know how thankful I am to get a home cooked meal each time I eat one" Ellie nodded.

Tommy came in with a tray of smoked ham steaming filling the room with the mouth watering smell.

"You folks ready to dig in?" Tommy smiled as Maria made room on the table for the tray of smoked ham.

"Hell yea brother" Joel said as he and Ellie began scooting their chairs waiting for Tommy and Maria to sit down and join them.

"Come let's say grace" Maria whispered.

Ellie rolled her eyes and Joel nodded at her not to argue even though he kind of sided with Ellie on that opinion. So without another word everyone joined hands around the table and bowed their heads. Ellie noticed the silver crucifix Maria wore hung outside her shirt.

"Dear Lord, we thank you for another bountiful harvest as we continue to prepare for another winter. Bless everyone in our family and protect us from evil in the upcoming days and forgive us of our sins...Amen!" Maria concluded.

"Amen! Dig in!" Tommy laughed.

Maria politely began filling everyone's bowl with delicious vegetable stew which had a collection of herbs. The stew was filled with carrots, tomatoes, potatoes, peas, lima beans, and cabbage. Hints of basil and parsley could tasted every other bite.

Ellie never cared for saying grace, the few people who claimed they were Christian and believed in God seemed to be nothing more than self-loathing hypocrites which she had no respect for. During some of her education when she lived in the quarantine zone they read some of the Bible, but the stories seemed just too far out for her and Riley. Usually their minds were off wandering somewhere else.

Joel on the other hand seemed to shift depending on his mood. He knew he had done a lot bad things, but knew that in this world if you let morality rule your life you'll end up dead.

Ellie did respect Maria though, she never tried to preach to her nor did she try to push her beliefs. Ellie could respect that. Tommy on the other hand was somewhat religious, moreso when he was around his fiancee. "You should always believe in something... it's better than believing in nothing..." Tommy would say.

"We're going to start harvest and storing pretty soon, winter will be here before we know it" Tommy announced.

"Yea, it seems like that's when bandits become desperate" Joel commented.

"Yea, so that's why I need you to help me with some of the younger men in their marksmen training. Us old men can't do everything around here" Tommy laughed.

"I hear ya!" Joel smiled nodding.

"This month seems to be just flying by too!" Maria chided in.

"I know... you need to get out and enjoy it some" Joel added.

Ellie sat listening to them banter back and forth about things they needed to do. It was constant and monotonous at times, but necessary for everyone's survival. Ellie took her time savouring every drop of her vegetable stew until it was all gone.

"You want some smoked ham?" Joel asked taking her bowl away.

Ellie shook her head.

"Smoked ham is always a treat, ya know, we used to Barbeque a lot back in the day-" Joel remembered.

"Yea, I remember, we'll have to come up with our own recipe for barbeque sauce eh Joel?" Tommy smirked.

"You go it Tommy! You'll really like it once you get a taste for it Ellie" Joel agreed.

"You sure are quiet, how did your swimming lessons go?" Maria asked noticing Ellie's silence.

"Oh they went well, I'm hoping to learn in the next few lessons" Ellie said almost absent minded as she watched Joel deftly cut her a couple pieces of smoked ham.

"Just keep at it, you can do anything you put your mind to" Maria said with much encouragment.

Maria filled everyone's mug with ice cold clean water. Joel and Tommy finished quickly eating their ham and continued going back and forth about other issues within their compound.

"Yea, we're going to have a small group meeting, it would really help if you joined us" Tommy finished.

"No problem, but let's do a quick walk-around and see what issues needs to be addressed" Joel suggested.

"Sounds like a plan brother" Tommy agreed.

"Ellie, do you mind helping Maria here clear the table?" Joel asked.

"Sure" Ellie nodded as she finished her last bite of ham. The ham was slowly cooked. It was nice and tender and was full of flavor.

"I'll be back soon sweetheart...Ellie if you go out stay away from the west side of the dam" Tommy said giving Maria a affectionate peck on the lips.

"Ok baby" Maria shook her head.

"Why?" Ellie asked curious all the sudden.

"I've heard people say it's haunted" Tommy sounded a bit serious.

"What?!" Ellie's interest was piqued.

"Tommy! Enough with these 'hauntings' stories" Maria pointed her finger at him.

"They aren't stories, I've heard from a number of folk around here saying strange things happen" he laughed.

"Go!" Maria pushed him out.

"What's he talking about?" Ellie asked with a bit of interest.

"Nothing...we're better off not even mentioning it" Maria said as they began clearing the table.

Ellie was quiet as she collected the bowls while Maria covered the pot of stew for later that evening. This was the first real thing that seemed to have any entertainment value and true interest for Ellie. She wanted to know more about it. Ellie noticed the shiny silver crucifix again that hung on Maria's neck again.

"So Maria, how long have you been a Christian?" Ellie asked.

Maria was quiet for a moment as she wrapped the ham up putting it in the cooler.

"Since I was about 18...when I lost my only child" Maria said quietly.

"Oh..." Ellie answered not wanting to push the issue sensing it was a sore spot.

Ellie sat the dishes in the sink and began to help her scrub.

"I was young and stupid. I let a guy charm me and I became pregnant. Shortly after he left me and I never saw him again" Maria paused for a moment to find a towel to start drying off the dishes.

"So what happened?" Ellie asked feeling that Maria had revealed a enough for her to continue.

"I got sick with the flu from being depressed when he left me, and one night when I went to the bathroom I realized I had lost my child-miscarriage" Maria finishied.

"I'm sorry..." Ellie nodded.

"I told a good friend about it and I knew she was a Christian; yet, she never judged me. She was always my friend no matter what dumb things I did" Maria paused again.

"So she taught me how to pray and we began reading the Bible together...eventually she opened me up to a new world. It wasn't a world of judging and bigotry" Maria paused again as Ellie listened closely.

"It's not our place to judge others, we don't know their hearts, only God does, we should show them compassion. I'm human too Ellie just so you know, I mess up too and constantly have to be forgiven...if I'm boring you just tell me to shut up" Maria laughed.

"You know I remember seeing crazy guys holding signs spouting damnation, and the end of times, I used to laugh at them thinking they were lunatics. No it's ok, keep going" Ellie said politely.

"Most of them were and are crazy, full of self-righteousness, and their own personal agendas. According to the Bible, no one will no the day nor the hour, so their all full of shit. Well I'm just going to say this, we live in a messed up world and there has to be something more than this, at least I believe there is. It's a personal decision each of us can choose to make. There are more dangerous things out there than bandits, runners, stalkers, clickers, or even bloaters" Maria continued.

"Like what?" Ellie asked a bit confused.

"There is a spiritual battle going on between good and evil which we cannot see" Maria stated.

"How do you know?" Ellie asked.

"I've seen cult groups that delved into things that should never be disturbed when I was younger. I'm not going to tell you because you would never believe me" Maria concluded.

"What was it you saw?" Ellie asked really wanting know.

"I can only tell you this, when you see something evil, you will know it, and never forget it as long as you live...so, if evil exists, then so does good" Maria rationalized.

Ellie stood there shaking her head digesting everything they just discussed. They finished washing the dishes in silence as Ellie began to formulate her own opinions, perhaps later she and Joel would discuss it a bit more privately in depth about religion, good, evil, and things that are intangible. Those conversations were always thought provoking.


End file.
